Paddling As Fast As You Can

I just got a new computer, which set into motion a sea change in my world. It feels as if I've moved into a huge new mansion with all kinds of fabulous things to explore. But first, there are lots of upgrades, compatibility issues and glitches to troubleshoot in order to get to that comfy, settled-in feeling.

And that is just one area of life! Some days it feels as if I am in a little canoe, paddling as fast as I can through a swift-running current of change that sweeps through every area of life, trying to stay focused and maintain perspective. Know what I mean?

This sea change of turbulence and movement is not confined to our electronic lives only. It is like a tsunami of information, technology, social and economic change that continues to expands as it sweeps though our lives. No area of life is exempt. For some, it has taken on the form of job loss and financial overwhelm; for others, it is showing up as a re-ordering of priorities in relationships or a crumbling of the dreams you'd had for your life.

People everywhere are looking for ways to manage the swelling tide of change: they look for better time management, financial management, relationship management, weight management, career management, and more.

The fact is, though, we cannot 'manage' any of those things. We don't manage time. Time simply clicks by, second by second, whether we do anything or not. What we do manage is ourselves and our choices in every given moment.

We are the ones choosing what to do and be involved in. And so, the most important thing we can manage is ourselves! How, then, can we best manage ourselves during these dynamic times of shift and change? Here are seven tools for self-management:

1. Know Your Priorities. Do you know what the top values and priorities in your life are? Are you clear on the purpose of your life? Are you clear on what you want to accomplish and what is needed to get there? Only after you know these things can you choose appropriate action that will carry you toward your purpose.

2. Focus On The Big Picture. When we feel overwhelmed, our focus tends to narrow down until we have a myopic view of life in which we seem awfully small and insignificant against the intimidating demands of life. It's the ant and the elephant syndrome. Argue for your limitations, and they will surely become insurmountable obstacles. Focus on your problems, and they are sure to expand.

Instead of focusing on all the worrisome details of your life, try moving your perspective to a higher viewpoint from where you can see the big picture. I often use a guided visualization with clients where they soar high above their problems on the wings of a giant eagle. This exercise helps them to pull out of the immediacy of their surroundings and to gain a broader perspective.

3. Look For The Message. The painful symptoms in our lives are messengers to remind us that something is off balance, misaligned, or no longer constructive. Instead of numbing these messengers in your life with medication or denial, you may want to take a look at what is causing the frustration or pain. What choices did you make to bring you to this place? Were your choices based on limited knowing, resulting in limiting outcomes? You will become a lot more constructive when you stop looking for someone to blame and acknowledge that you have the power to bring about the very change you desire.

4. Choose Again. When you see the process that led you to this place, you are free to choose to move into a new direction. Remember, one of the greatest gifts God gave us is the ability to choose. You can choose to manage yourself appropriately by aligning more and more with your true values, so you can be carried forward on the current of instead of fighting against it. Situations, choices and relationships that are no longer aligned with our values and priorities have served their purpose and deserve to be released with gratitude for the lessons they offered. When you cut the cords, you will also free yourself from the pain and frustration that comes from being out of alignment with your path.

5. Finish With A Flurry. Ever watch how many people start a marathon, yet how few complete it? Anyone can start the race, yet the rewards go to the few who actually finish. Unfinished business clutters up our time, space and energy. I've found that multi-tasking can be a trap. The more open projects there are, the fewer get finished and the less you are present to what may unfold in each moment.

When you multitask by texting while driving, you are not focused on the road. When you answer e-mail while spending time with your loved one, your behavior actually silently says, 'You are not worthy of my full attention.'

If your top priority is worth doing, it is worth focusing on that project until it's done. There will always be smaller routine tasks to do, too, but being fully present to the task at hand makes you efficient and effective to bring it to completion. Doing that gives offers a sense of accomplishment.

6. Learn To Say No With A Smile. Here is where most of us fail. We feel so guilty or pressured to oblige every demand for our time and resources, that we do not say no to those things that are not a matter of priority. Saying no to what is not essential, frees up your time, energy and resources for what truly matters. And no is a complete response - you do not need to justify your decision to anyone but yourself. Evaluate demands for your time and resources against your priorities. Then, say 'yes' when you can do so with a happy heart, and say 'no' without guilt. You will find yourself staying more buoyant in life's current.

7. Keep It Simple. In my own life, I have whittled down the process even more. Yes, I do have an overarching mission statement for my life and yes, I am clear in my intentions. However, to stay focused and effective, I also prioritize my involvement. Within the larger framework of my plan and purpose, I ask two simple questions to guide my choices:

* Is this essential to my survival, life or health right now? Everything else, no matter how important or pressing it seems, is secondary.

* Will this lead me closer to my ultimate truth and joy, or does it leave me feeling restricted and confined? Momentary discipline that moves you closer to your ultimate goal, is acceptable; anything that minimizes your true being is not.

There may still be days when you feel as if you spend all your time chasing after the endless demands of life. We all have those! As long as you use these tools to stay focused, the turbulence around you will not capsize your canoe.

Keep facing forward and keep paddling!