Sometimes in relationships, a partner may become unyielding to issues; such mate will hardly see reasons to make adjustments on the present way of living. At such times, it could be emotionally and physically hurting to the other partner who is the recipient of the ill treatment or who is concerned about the impact of the negative attitude on the relationship as a whole.
Tips for Achieving Changes
- The mate who is initiating change or trying to bring the other mate to a place of accepting responsibility for wrongdoing may need to adopt a different technique in order to achieve the desired result in the union. If you had previously presented your case in arguments with harsh tones, try a dialoguing technique, presenting your case constructively while pointing out every issue you have previously argued about. It may amaze you how this approach will soften your mate and bring such mate to a place of total conviction and repentance!
- Rather than nag or complain, express your fears and concerns over the union in love. It may be quite difficult to speak in love when one is hurting; but if you truly desire a change and want to save the union from breaking, then you have to find a place in your heart to correct your partner in love. The Holy Bible clearly states this result-oriented strategy: "A soft answer turns away wrath"!
- When planning for a conversation with your mate, you need to choose a location that is devoid of distractions and interruptions
- Choose a suitable time that will ensure neither of you is tired or irritated as a result of the day's activities
- Do not be confrontational, but rather warm and loving
- Let it not be lecture time, but a time of peaceful dialogue and loving determination to achieve the needed change
- Make sure that you have outlined the areas you desire to discuss before arranging for the meeting. This will ensure that you do not beat around the bush but face the pre-identified problems purposefully
- Dwell on a particular issue (conversationally) until it has been meaningfully resolved
- Make sure you discuss how the problem is negatively impacting the union and the necessary changes that you think need to be made
- Ensure that there is no trace of selfishness in the things you outline for discussion; let it be things that will be mutually beneficial to both mates
- Tactfully but convincingly bring up the issue of seeing a marriage counselor; in trying to achieve this, you can use words such as "I love you very much and care about our relationship, and I want our love for each other to be rekindled. This is why I want us to see a marriage counselor."
- Try to use affectionate words in the course of your discussion.
The above strategies may seem common, but you can't tell how effective they can be; all you need is the will and courage to take a step. Sooner than you think, you and your mate can bring your marriage back to life again!
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