How Setting Boundaries is Key to Building Relationships Personally and Professionally

Need a break from the people in your life? In one of Robert Frost's famous poems, he affirms why it is important to set firm personal and professional boundaries with others.

Boundaries are integral to your success because they demonstrate how much you value yourself and how much you value others. In business, boundaries take the form of contracts, cancellation policies, customer care standards, written releases, invoices, mission and vision statements, etc. They solidify what you will and will not do and make the business agreement clear to both parties so the risk of confusion and conflict is minimized.

In your personal life, you can establish healthy boundaries by expressing when you feel hurt, taking responsibility for your feelings, reserving time just for yourself, and letting your family know when you are overwhelmed and need a helping hand (and maybe a leg and foot too!). A boundary doesn't keep other people out; it defines who you are in a certain relationship and urges you to express your desires, needs and responsibilities.

Let me give you an example. In my coaching practice, I require twenty-four hours notice by phone if a client needs to reschedule or they are expected to pay in full for their session. When I first start working with a client, I make sure he or she understands and agrees to the policy. And if later on they haven't given me the required notice and say they don't remember the policy, I am able to pull out their signed form and show it to them. I don't have to be the "bad guy" because the policy states our agreement clearly and concisely.

Without that policy, I would surely have lots of no-shows. My income, as well as my attitude towards the client, would then be affected. (There's nothing worse than being psyched to do a session with someone and they don't show; you feel as if your work isn't valued plus you feel bad because you turned someone else away for that appointment time.)

When we have clear boundaries, both parties benefit and misunderstandings ("missed understandings") can be avoided or transformed into something positive. Success in personal and professional communication comes from having clearly defined limits to which we adhere with integrity. (Remember this the next time you feel like a hard a*s for enforcing one of your business policies--Boundaries are there to help you stay true to your standards and principles and to prevent resentments from piling up.)

Let's also remember that the boundaries we've established can be relaxed if the outcome will be beneficial for all. Good fences make good neighbors but only when we leave a gate open, communicating responsibly and respectfully with the goal of creating strong relationships that ensure success for everyone involved.